Monday, December 14, 2015
"Stone Soup" VERSES "Women and the Future of Fatherhood"
(Due Tuesday, December 15, 2015)
After reading both "Stone Soup" and "Women and the Future of Fatherhood," whose assertions do you agree with most-Kingsolver's or Whitehead's? These are controversial issues. Both authors make poignant, appealing claims. In one well considered, thoughtful paragraph, identify whose views you support most and why. You must choose only one. Use at least two quotes to support your response.
After reading and analyzing both pieces thoroughly I mostly agree with Women and the Future of Fatherhood for certain points made in the argument, not all of them. The author says that women and men cannot be both parents as in a woman cannot be a good father and a man cannot be a good mother. I believe that this assertion is true when it comes to parenting and that is why tradition is having two parents one of each sex. This allows for a balance in the family unit, one is the more loving caring parent usually the mother and one is the provider and protector of the family usually the father. Although as stated in Stone Soup not every family has a mother and a father it is evident that the balance of both sexes is needed for a strong family unit. This information is provided in Women and the Future of Fatherhood as the author discusses the emotional and physical toll it puts on the family and father when the father is absent. As seen here “Without marriage, men also lose access to the social and emotional intelligence of women in building relationships.”(Whitehead 407) men need marriage in order to build relationships, relationships needed to raise a family. To conclude this post I must use the quote Whitehead used to conclude the piece “Simply put, even the best mothers cannot be good fathers.”(Whitehead 412) This quote reflects that although they may try women and men cannot provide and be the “missing parent” in a family unit.
ReplyDeleteI also agreed with Whitehead. A balanced family that is healthy for everyone is one that is complete. The importance of both a mother and a father in a child's life is essential in the emotional development of there small minds. Whitehead does a good job on developing this opinion in her essay.
DeleteI also agree with Whitehead. A family should be balanced and both the mother and father should be equally involved. I agree with "not every family has a mother and a father it is evident that the balance of both sexes is needed for a strong family unit".
DeleteAfter reading both "Stone Soup" and "Women and the Future of Fatherhood," I think that I agree with Whitehead's assertions the most. Both authors do make poignant and appealing claims, but I believe that Whitehead's claim would be the one that I agree with the most. I agree with the fact that a child would be raised best when they have both parents living under the same roof. I also agree that it is crucial for the child's father to be in the child's life. Whitehead stated "simply put, even the best mothers cannot be good fathers" (Whitehead 412). In my opinion, this statement is one hundred percent true. A child needs to have a father role in their life. Whitehead also said "there can be a high degree of flexibility in parental roles, but men and women are not interchangeable 'parental units,' particularly in their children's early years" (Whitehead 411). I also strongly agree with this statement. No matter how good of a mother somebody is, they can never fully replace a father figure. Also no matter how good of a father somebody may be, they could never fully replace a mother figure either. There most definitely are points that Whitehead makes that I don't agree with. For example, I don't believe that if someone is a single parent, then their child would not be raised correctly. I do think that a single parent can raise their child just as well as two parents could; it is just different.
ReplyDeleteI disagree with your initial statements on whiteheads views. Though both a female and male figure can aid in raising a child it is not necessary their sexuality that makes this possible but rather their love and experience. The image of two loving parents will resound in a child's mind with a better impact than that of two fighting parents. I believe that happiness is key to being a successful parent. Granted there will be struggles and rough times, but family is a strong relation and can make it through the difficulties. I disagree with whiteheads assertion that both a strong female and male parental figure is needed in order to raise a child correctly because through personal experience, I know very amazing people who had a rough childhood and absent parents while I also know those who have loving parents but they themselves have not been able to find happiness. Just because there is a married couple doesn't mean they will be able to raise a child better than a single parent. Everyone's families are different and no parents run their homes the same. For children, their family is their normal and when it comes down to being a good parent all you can do is always love your child.
DeleteBoth "Stone Soup" and "Women and the Future of Fatherhood" make assertions that family can be shaped many ways. I agree with the assertions made by Whitehead that a healthy marriage is key for a healthy family. The importance of both a father and a mother in a childs life can ensure that the children are raised in a nurturing environment. Whitehead states that, "But especially with weakened communities that provide little support, children need levels of perental investment that cannot be supplied solely by a good mother, even if she has the best resources at her disposal." (Whitehead 412) Whitehead also makes the point that an important father figure is essential in childrens lives. Her opinion is clearly stated in her final statement, "Simply put, even the best mothers cannot be good fathers." (Whitehead 412)
ReplyDeleteI agree with your post David. For the most part I think that we have the same outlook on the two prompts. I agreed with how you said "The importance of both a father and a mother in a child's life can ensure that the children are raised in a nurturing environment."
DeleteIt is true that both pieces made assertions involving the nature of family. Again while it is true that a healthy marriage is helpful to a healthy family i personally don't think that that is the stronger of the two arguments. Kingsolvers reasoning that that not all families have to be the like "The Family of Dolls". As well as when kingslovers states that unhappy couples that are married should be allowed to get divorced. Even with being allowed to be divorced many people still judge and say that the family will never be a whole again. I find that this is a stigma that is incorrect and harmful
DeleteI completely agree with your post. No doubt women try their hardest to provide the best possible life for their children. But no matter how hard they try they never can take the place of a father. This is why it is essential for fathers to be a part of their children's lives no matter what they want to do or what the mother wants them to do.
DeleteI agree with Kingsolver’s ideas as opposed to the ideas of Whitehead. While both pieces present logical assertions, Stone Soup provides a more liberal and open minded perspective on what family means. Kingsolver writes that family is not distinguished by two parents and a white picket fence. She declares that “[a]rguing about whether nontraditional families deserve pity or tolerance is a little like the medieval debate about left handedness as a mark of the devil.” Whitehead presumes that children will not flourish under the influence of a single parent, while Kingsolver believes that love is love and that there are many instances of victorious single parenting. Stone Soup presents historical, social, and economic justifications as to why parents can be successful without fitting a societal mold. For example, Kingsolver describes the nontraditional parenting throughout the 1950s. At this time in history, while conformity was an utmost desire of many Americans, the truth was far less quintessential. In suburbia, “alcoholism and sexual abuse of children were far more widespread than anyone imagined.” These justifications present a perspective on familial connections that I find logical and agreeable.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you on the fact that Kingsolver is much more open minded in her essay than Whitehead. Stone Soup is a piece that has a lot of justifications and logical appeals while Whitehead's piece is more almost attacking to those who don't live in "the perfect family". I like the examples you pulled out with her historical evidence and the way you organized what you had.
DeleteAlexa Belanger
DeleteI agree with the statement you made that Kingsolver has a more open mind on the meaning of family. Your sentence "family is not distinguished by two parents and a white picket fence", explains that a divorce does not ruin a family. Kingsolver makes it clear that it is possible for single parents to be just as successful with their children as married parents. Your reference to Kingsolver believing that "love is love" perfectly describes her views. She believes that even a "broken" family can still function properly. Just because a parent is single, this doesn't change their love and affection for their children.
After reading both "Stone Soup" and "Women and the Future of Fatherhood" I agree with more of the assertions made by Whitehead. There are some I don't agree with, but majority of them I do. I agree with Whiteheads assertion that a healthy marriage is an important factor for a healthy family. Whitehead comments "Simply put, even the best mothers cannot be good fathers." Meaning, mothers can't take over the role that a father is supposed to carry out. In contrast Whitehead does state that "[w]omen can be good mothers without being married." Which is true. Many single mothers are great to their children. However, it doesn't hide the underlying truth that when parents work together to maintain a healthy marriage, the outcome is much more positive.
ReplyDeleteYes! Mothers can be good mothers and fathers can be good fathers alone. But when one parent tries to perform the duties of the other that's where things get messy. I think it is important to have one of each parent in order to reach that happy medium and preserve the balance within the family unit.
DeleteI agree with Whitehead's statement that "the best mothers cannot be good fathers." I also agree with your comment that "mothers are great to their children. However, it doesn't hide the underlying truth that when parents work together to maintain a healthy marriage, the outcome is much more positive."
DeleteI agree with the fact that healthy marriages create positive outcomes, but even the healthiest of marriages can produce less than great children. I think that Whitehead disregards the fact that having the visually accepted family does not necessarily make a family successful. While having a father and a mother figure is how most people are raised, it is not the only “right” way. There are many non traditional ways to be raised that are just as prosperous.
DeleteI fully agree with each point that you had made. I happened to pull out one of the same quotes as you, which was "simlply put, even the best mothers cannot be good fathers" (Whitehead 412). I agree with you in the fact that mothers are not fully able to carry out the role of a father. Something that you pulled out from the piece that I did not, but I agree with was how single mothers can still definately be good mothers to their child. You also stated how a more positive outcome could possibly come from when a child has both parents with a healthy relationship. I do agree with this as well, but there are cases where parents with a healthy marriage raise a kid that may not have the most positive outcome, and a single parent may raise a child with the most positive outcome.
DeleteAlexa Belanger
ReplyDeleteAfter reading Kinsolver's, "Stone Soup", and Whitehead's, "Women and the Future of Fatherhood", I agree with the assertions that Kingsolver makes. The author explains that not all families have to be the like "The Family of Dolls". "The Family of Dolls" has been the model for the idealistic family for a long time. I also agree that families don't have to resemble "The Family of Dolls" to be a perfect family. Kingsolver explains that although there are issues amongst families, such as divorce, this should not give "broken" families a bad label or encourage them to be shunned. The author states "A nonfunctioning marriage is a slow asphyxiation. It is waking up despised each morning, listening to the pulse of your own loneliness before the radio begins to blare its raucous gospel that you're nothing if you aren't loved" (Kingolver 397). I agree with Kingsolver in the fact that if a husband and a wife are not happy in a marriage then they should be allowed to divorce without the judgement of others. The author shares her personal experience with divorce and shares with the readers that many of her close friends stopped being friends with her after she divorced. This is something else she didn't agree with, as well as I. She found out who her real friends were and who would stick with her through thick and thin. "Still, the friend who holds your hand and says the wrong thing is made of dearer stuff than the one who stays away" (Kingsolver 398). I agree with Kingsolver in the sense that when a major issues happens in someone's life they truly find who their real friends are because some may stick around and some may not. All in all, I agree with Kingsolver's assertions because I believe that "broken" families or families with issues should not be shunned or looked down upon just because of the situation they are in.
I completely agree with your statement that if parents are not happy together they can not provide a child with a good learning enviroment. With that being said it does make it difficult for a father to have as much of an influence on their child if their parents are not together. On the other hand I do believe that a child does deserve to have a sense of normalcy. No a family should not be judged by not having a cookie-cutter family as long as the child has a stable happy family to be raised in.
DeleteAfter reading "Stone Soup" and "Women and the Future of Fatherhood," I can agree with a majority of the arguments made by Kingsolver. Through logical assertions and personal experience, she claims that there is not an accurate representation of a traditional family, or a "Family of Dolls". Kingsolver also declares that people are quick to stereotype "divorced people, blended families, gay families, and single parents as 'failures.'" She states, “[a]rguing about whether nontraditional families deserve pity or tolerance is a little like the medieval debate about left handedness as a mark of the devil.” I feel that if both parents are not present in the lives of their children, but there is still a strong bond between parent and child, then the family will be successful and happy.
ReplyDeleteI chose to write my blog post siding with Whitehead, however, I do agree with your post above. I feel that if people are happy, then it does not matter if both parents are present all the time. Every family is different. Not everyone grows up in a nuclear family, and people experience things others do not.
DeleteAfter reading both "Stone Soup" and "Women and the Future of Fatherhood" I have found that I agree with Kingsolver's views on family and marriage. Although Whitehead makes a strong statement that good families need both a well represented mother and father, I agree with Kingston in that "love is love" and happiness can be found, even in so-called "broken" homes. Kingston provides specific examples from her own experiences and others' throughout time. She shows that just because people are divorced doesn't mean they are unhappy. Just because someone isn't from a "family of dolls" doesn't mean they were raised wrong. Different doesn't necessarily mean bad and disarray doesn't always mean dysfunctional.
ReplyDeleteIn "Women and the Future of Fatherhood" and "Stone Soup" they both talk about families in different ways of shaping. Both of these pieces presented logical assertions, but I related more to Whitehead's ideas. Although, I disagreed with some of Whitehead's assertions, but I agreed with how a healthy relationship is key to a healthy family lifestyle. "There can be a high flexability in parental roles, but men and women are inchangeable 'parental units', particulary in their child's early years." (Whitehead 411) I agree with how Whitehead believes that a child is happier with both the parents under the same roof. Even having a father involved in a child's life is a crucial role. "Simply put, even rhe best mothers cannot be good fathers." (Whitehead 412)
ReplyDeleteAfter reading both "Stone Soup" and "Women and the Future of Fatherhood" I found that I feel more strongly about Whiteheads views. With that being said Kingsolver makes a strong point as well. From the assertions that whitehead makes through personal experiences, a father can not be fully involved without being in the home with the child. A good point is made when it is stated that "even the best mothers can not be good fathers". Mothers are not meant to take the roles of father; even though it can be understood that fathers are not always present in a childs life for varying reason, i feel that children to need a father figure in their life. The peice just overall states that with a healthy marriage and coparenting can be a more positive outcome for a child.
ReplyDeleteStephanie Rauhoff
ReplyDeleteIn "Women and the Future of Fatherhood" and "Stone Soup", there is a strong debate about families and how every family can and should be shaped. But Kingslover produced a much more open approach about family and how single parents can provide just as healthy of a family as the "cookie-cutter" type family. In "broken homes" families can still love each other just as much as the "normal" families can. The whole ideal of "stay together for the kids" can be much more destructive to the home life of a family than just getting a divorce and making yourselves happy again.
I agree with you that Kingsolver definitely had a more open view on how all kinds of families can still be considered healthy even though they aren't traditional. Families can still love each other no matter if they are "doll like" or come from "broken homes".
DeleteIn both "Women and the Future of Fatherhood" by Barbara Whitehead and "Stone Soup" by Kingsolver they discuss the controversial issues of marriage and families. I found through reading both pieces that I agree with Kingsolver's views over Whitehead. Whitehead made a good point of explaining that a mother and family make a well rounded family but I agree with Kingston that you don't have to have a perfect family to be fulfilled and happy. Kingston tells stories of her own life to explain her points, she talks about "The Family Of Dolls" (395 Kingsolver) that she used to play with as a child that represented the ideal family. She talks about how the dolls make "Divorced people, blended families, gay families, and single single parents as failures"(396 Kingsolver).
ReplyDeleteSkylar Beavers
ReplyDeleteOut of the two pieces we read I would say that I agree more with Kingsolver's "Stone Soup". Kingsolver talks about how the concept of a "Family of Dolls" is not the only, best way to raise a family. Whitehead's piece makes an argument about how a child is happier with both parents but Kingsolver says accurately "to judge a family's value by its tidy symmetry is to purchase a book for its cover." There is no secret to a successful, perfect family. Every household is different and will yield different results and to say that there is one way to raise a family is inaccurate.
ReplyDeleteIn both “Women of the Future of Fatherhood” and “Stone Soup”, families and the controversial issues within them are talked about. Both pieces made sense and I understand where they are coming from, but i agree more with Whitehead’s assertions. However there are some ideas Whitehead has, that I do not agree with. When she said “There can be a high flexibility in parental roles, but men and women are interchangeable ‘parental units’, particularly in their child's early years” I agree 100%. I do believe yahy a child is happier when their parents are still together and living under the same roof. Another good point made by Whitehead is, "But especially with weakened communities that provide little support, children need levels of parental investment that cannot be supplied solely by a good mother, even if she has the best resources at her disposal."
I agree with points from both Whitehead and Kingsolver. I agree more with Whitehead. I applaud single moms because I know that it can not be easy but in same cases the father has to be in the lives of their children to fill a role that only they can fill. I agree with Whitehead on the point of men can only be a part of the child’s life if the mom lets them. She says “Men can’t be fathers unless the mother’s of their children allow it.”I find this very powerful because some of the time the father’s are trying to be a part of the child’s life, yet the mother’s won’t allow it because they are “deadbeat” parents. In order for a child to be Kingsolver’s “perfect family” stereotype, all children need to have the presence of both their mother and their father, no matter the mother’s opinion of the father, in their lives.
ReplyDelete